The new year is coming up.
Literally right around the corner. And I feel like I need to establish some kind of purpose or meaning for this new opportunity. That’s how I want to view this year- an opportunity. This is going to be arguably one of the biggest years of my life. I’ll be graduating from high school, getting accepting into college, attending college. I can hardly write those words without feeling disbelief. I sometimes still feel like a little kid, where college and adulthood and life in general felt a world away.
And now here I am, at a coffeeshop in Berkeley filling time before teaching. It's obvious that I’ve changed, but “change” seems to have such a negative connotation sometimes. It’s more of a blossoming in my mind, coming into a form that was always meant for me. Like a seed is destined to be a flower, I was meant to become the person I am today.
That’s not to negate the work of the seed, however. It’s of its own will that it pushed through the layers of the earth and braved its face to the sun. And like that seed I wretched my way through plenty of rock and stone to get where I am now. But now I’m at yet another turning point, an opportunity to enter the next phase of my existence. I’m getting ready to continue my evolution, to hopefully step into greater power, confidence, and light than the years before. I want to hope, I want to believe, that I’m on an upward trend, that backsliding isn’t an option. At least, not on a large scale. It’s inevitable that some things will slip and some things will rearrange themselves, but who I am as a whole, my core, my center, will hold strong.
I want to set some declarations for 2016, my 18th year, my 1st year of adulthood:
Bravery and Adventure
I will face new challenges as new opportunities. I will embrace change as a part of growth and evolution of self. I will have confidence in my abilities to adapt and overcome obstacles. I will release myself of my attachments to the familiar and expected, and trust in my ability to stay strong when things seem tough. I will try new things, meet new people, and explore facets of myself and life that I haven’t had the courage to thus far.
Connection and Understanding
I will actively seek out new connections instead of waiting for them to come to me. I will reach out to others and share who I am and what is important to me. I will learn about new people and new lifestyles, embracing everyone for who they are and what they have to offer to my life. I will understand that I don’t have to pursue bravery alone, and it’s okay to look to others for support and comfort. I will become comfortable will closer, personal relationships that require vulnerability and adaptation. I will nourish the connections I already have and ensure that the most important ones never fade, even during times of change.
Intuition and Authenticity
I will trust my instincts over the next year, making decisions that are true to who I am and feel innately good. I will guide my life around the values that are important to me, and hold true to who I am when making new connections and seeking new opportunities. I will make clear who I authentically am and trust that the right people will embrace it. I will listen to my heart and make an effort to make instinctual, but not impulsive, decisions.
Nourishment and Care
I will seek to nourish myself and my body in any way possible. I will nourish my being will whole, healing foods and functional, healthy movement. I will nourish my mind and soul by writing, journaling, practicing yoga, and spending time with the people I care about. I will make sleep and rest a priority, without compromising life’s experiences. I will be gentle with myself during a time of great change. I will work hard on projects that are important to who I am and what I do.
These are the themes of 2016, for me. I don’t know what college I’m going to, where I’ll be living, who I’ll be living with, what I’ll be studying, when I’ll be teaching, or really anything. It’s a blank slate, one that can set the tone for my entrance to adulthood and life. I can only wonder what the world will bring to me, and what I’ll bring to the world. I only know that these themes will follow me wherever I go, because they are a part of who I am. Who I will always be. Who I’ve always been.